I cried three times this week. Three.
The first time was on Monday, totally random, and should’ve been a clear indicator to me of what kind of week I’d have. While sitting on the train, I thought about my grandfather who passed away eight years ago. I rarely cry over him and most of my thoughts and memories are about how amazingly wild he was, his obsession with those terrible hybrid SciFi Channel movies, and shit talking during family game night. However, for some reason, on this train ride, I thought about how he won’t be present at my wedding and it broke me because I then thought about my grandmother who will be there just reminiscing about her once great love with him.
The very next day, I decided to watch Philadelphia. If you haven’t seen it, it’s a 90s movie starring Tom Hanks and Denzel Washington. *SPOLIER ALERT*, but Tom Hanks’ character dies from AIDS and I totally lost it.
Lastly, my best friend surprised my partner and I with tickets to see The Nightmare Before Christmas Live in Concert. This has been my favorite movie since I first saw it at four years old and simply sitting in my seat and being surrounded by other people who are just as obsessed with it as I am overwhelmed me with the happiest and ugliest tears.
After the concert, while gushing on our train ride home, my partner said, “I love that you’re a crier.” I quickly replied with a laugh, “I’m SUCH a crier.” Then it hit me that everything about our conversation was taboo. Many people struggle with crying and others struggle with being around someone crying. I love putting “challenges” in my posts, so this week’s challenge is to cry, let everything out. Here are some things to keep in mind that might help you along with that challenge:
1) You want to cry for a reason. I hear so often and have even said myself, “I don’t know where this is coming from!” Truthfully, we always know where the tears are coming from. They’re coming from an overflowing place of emotion that finally couldn’t collect anymore. Don’t strain your emotions, release them and talk or think about why there is an abundance of emotion.
2) Crying is not a weakness. It’s a strength. If you’re in a place where you are able and comfortable with being vulnerable and honest with yourself and others, that’s an amazing place to be in.
3) Crying can be cathartic. Have you ever been so mad, happy, or sad that crying felt like you’d literally completed a 20-mile hike? Yeah, it’s crazy how that happens. This kind of goes back to the first one, but crying has a liberating potential that can help strong emotions become clearer and make sense.
4) We all cry. Regardless of gender, sexuality, skin color, where we all come from, how much money we have, or literally any other characteristic you can think of, we all have cried and do cry. It’s a natural side effect to this human thing.
Happy crying, everyone, and I hope the release moves you towards a better and more insightful place.
Thanks, Ariel Lustre, for the photo!